Warning: This story contains dialogue of suicide
It’s been greater than every week since Jaqueline McDermott’s physique was discovered, however her mother Nathalie St-Maurice stated it by no means actually “settles in.”
The 22-year-old had been the topic of an intensive search after being reported lacking close to Merritt B.C. on Oct. 1.
“We’ll never know. That’s the hardest part,” St-Maurice informed CTV News at a memorial for her late daughter at a Vancouver skate park. “Yes, we found her body. Yes, we have closure because she’s not out there still lost and trying to be found, but we’ll never be able to answer the questions of exactly why or what was going through her head.”
MISSING THEN FOUND
The 22-year-old from Kitchener was reported lacking in B.C. on Oct. 1. She was final seen locally of Merritt.
RCMP stated her car was discovered damaged down however she was not in it or close to it. Her household stated she left her hometown with the dream to journey Canada in her van earlier this 12 months.
The search was in depth. It was not simply RCMP and search and rescue groups concerned, but in addition her mother and father and volunteers who didn’t know McDermott.
On Oct. 9, her physique was discovered. RCMP stated prison exercise was not concerned in her loss of life.
MOTHER SPEAKS OUT
St-Maurice stated following McDermott’s loss of life, there was lots of speculation about the way it occurred. St-Maurice stated she needed to inform the general public, not solely to finish speculation, however within the hopes that it might spark an essential dialog about psychological well being.
“She died by suicide,” St-Maurice stated. “And when you found out that she chose to do this herself – it’s unfathomable. Nobody knew. None of her friends.”
It wasn’t till after her loss of life, once they went by way of McDermott’s journal, that they discovered her deep and darkest ideas. Her mother stated it painted an image of an individual they barely acknowledged.
“She was great at giving out the kindness, but for some reason she couldn’t accept that kindness back. It’s hard to do that actually, if you’re hurting, if you’re struggling,” St-Maurice stated.
Her aim is to assist different households and people who could also be going by way of comparable robust occasions.
“If you need someone to talk to you, talk to someone. Anyone. You have people in your life who care and who will move mountains to help you. Just ask. Let people surprise you by how much they love you and let them come and help you and just accept that love,” she stated.
Memorial at Vancouver skate park for Jaqueline McDermott on Oct. 17, (CTV News/Shelley Moore)
REMEMBERING JAQUI MCDERMOTT
On Monday, greater than a dozen folks, together with McDermott’s household, gathered on the skate park behind the Britannia Community Centre in Vancouver to recollect her. Her identify is spray painted in giant letters within the park. Her mother stated McDermott beloved to skate there.
“She loved skateboarding and dedicated an unbelievable amount of hours to skateboarding,” St-Maurice stated.
Graffiti for Jaqueline McDermott seen in Vancouver skate park on Oct. 17. (CTV News/Shelley Moore)
An identical memorial came about over the weekend at Waterloo Park’s skate park.
“She actually appreciated meditation and making an attempt to be zen and actually was only a very non secular particular person, and that is how I’m going to recollect her,” her uncle, Justin St-Maurice, stated on the Waterloo memorial.
McDermott’s mother was in tears reflecting on a few of her favorite moments along with her daughter.
“She’s my firstborn child,” St- Maurice stated. “There’s so many memories from when she was little. It’s hard to believe that there will be no new memories. No new photos.”
THE IMPACT MCDERMOTT LEAVES BEHIND
When the mother and father flew to Merritt, B.C. to assist with the search, St-Maurice stated there have been strangers providing free lodging and meals.
St-Maurice stated she’s nonetheless shocked by all of the help. She stated it warms her coronary heart to see how her daughter touched the lives of so many.
“I think she wrote ‘I want to have an impact on one million people, spreading love and joy and peace,’” St-Maurice stated. “And so for me, maybe this is what this is. Maybe just spreading her message and being like – look for the things that are beautiful and spread the joy and spread the peace. Let’s stop looking for the ugliness in this world and like Jaqui says – ‘look up.’”
LEGACY LIVES ON
The household is establishing two memorial bursaries in McDermott’s honour. One bursary will likely be for a graduate of Waterloo Region District School Board, the place she went highschool. Another will likely be for a graduate of the francophone board, Conseil Scolaire Viamonde, the place she attended elementary faculty.
The household stated there won’t be a funeral, however there will likely be one other memorial in Waterloo area in November.
St-Maurice stated she was impressed by her daughter. She and her husband plan to take a while off work and journey throughout the nation like McDermott did.
“My husband and I will scatter her ashes in some of the places that she loved,” St-Maurice stated. “We plan to travel for a while and we’re just going to scatter her everywhere that we see that she would’ve loved.”
If you or somebody you realize is combating suicidal ideas or psychological well being issues, please name Canada’s Talk Suicide 1-833-456-4566. The following assets are additionally accessible to help folks in disaster:
Hope for Wellness Helpline (English, French, Cree, Ojibway and Inuktitut): 1-855-242-3310
Embrace Life Council hotline: 1-800-265-3333
Trans Lifeline: 1-877-330-6366
Kids Help Phone: 1-800-668-6868