Quebec author’s wife reflects on his decision for medically-assisted dying

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Quebec creator and educator Simon Roy awakened with a smile on Oct. 15, 2022.

He was able to die.

After a Chinese meals meal with his wife Marianne Marquis-Gravel and a glass of wine he might not get pleasure from as a result of chemotherapy remedies for mind most cancers, Roy listened to Lou Reed’s “Perfect Day” and commenced the medical help in dying (MAiD) course of.

With his wife and two youngsters at his facet, Simon Roy breathed his final.

“I used to be on his coronary heart, so I heard his coronary heart cease beating,” Marquis-Gravel advised CTV News three days after Roy died. “It was a ravishing method of dying for him.”

20 MONTHS TO SAY GOODBYE

Marquis-Gravel mentioned the MAiD course of was the proper method for her associate to die, and she or he has no regrets concerning the course of.

Roy obtained the devastating analysis round 20 months in the past, and the household watched as he lived by the painful and really actual results of the illness.

Last yr Roy was hospitalized after he suffered an epileptic disaster.

Marquis-Gravel mentioned he grew paranoid, misplaced the flexibility to talk and stroll, and grew offended and pissed off with the household. It was then that the author and instructor started desirous about medically assisted dying as an possibility.

“When he got here again, he got here again as himself, [and] he did not need to die like this,” she mentioned. “He did not need to die with out language, with out being himself, so he selected to arrange all the issues earlier than.”

She mentioned the household was fortunate, as they made the decision early and have been in a position to say and do every part they wished to do collectively for the previous 20 months, whereas the illness took an increasing number of of the person they knew.

“I wished that for him as a result of he was not completely satisfied within the final weeks,” mentioned Marquis-Gravel. “I might see that he did not need to stay. I understood his decision, revered his decision, as a result of I noticed him struggling.”

HE AWOKE SMILING

She mentioned he by no means regretted the decision to finish his life with help.

“It was not a life for him,” mentioned Marquis-Gravel. “When he took the decision, he by no means appeared again; he was very prepared. On the morning, he woke smiling as a result of he wished that.”

Roy posted on his Facebook web page a message about his analysis and left a remaining be aware on Oct. 12 recounting the books that his wife learn him 4 hours a day all through the summer season.

“Maybe that is what has stored me alive and on my toes till now,” he wrote.

Roy wished to outlive for two remaining occasions.

He wished to rejoice his wife’s birthday on Oct. 13 and the discharge of her guide “Dans la lumière de notre ignorance” earlier than saying goodbye.

She mentioned the couple went to Quebec City two days earlier than his dying for one final trip on her birthday. She might see her husband battle, however she additionally noticed how he would by no means hand over making an attempt to make these round him completely satisfied.

“I knew that he was struggling for me, to supply me that moment,” she mentioned. “He was somebody very, very beneficiant. The most beneficiant individual that I’ve met in my life.”

Simon Roy celebrated his wife, Marianne Marquis-Gravel’s birthday two days earlier than he determined to have a medical assisted dying. SOURCE: Marianne Marquis-Gravel.

DECIDING FOR HIMSELF

Marquis-Gravel is aware of that if Roy had waited, it will seemingly fall on the partner to determine when to take him off life help.

She mentioned having Roy make the decision gave peace to the household.

“When you might be struggling, you understand if you find yourself prepared, it is a course of,” she mentioned. “The individuals who requested for the medical help in dying are at peace with the decision. I did not need to make the decision for Simon. I’m completely satisfied that he determined for himself.”

A current COVID-19 optimistic take a look at means Marquis-Gravel has been exceptionally alone whereas remembering her husband in silence. She mentioned it has been onerous however peaceable reflecting on the person he was.

She mentioned he was a “venture man” that “could not get up within the morning with out one thing to do.” His books even caught the attention of Premier Francois Legault, who promoted his “Fait Par Un Autre” in one of many premier’s guide membership picks.

In the top, she mentioned, he remained the spectacular individual he at all times was.

“The final day of his life, he was a instructor,” mentioned Marquis-Gravel. “He taught us easy methods to die, but in addition easy methods to stay.” 

Marianne Marquis-Gravel and Simon Roy shared many moments collectively together with the final one on Oct. 15, 2022 when he obtained medical help in dying. SOURCE: Marianne Marquis-Gravel

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